Sunny and the BBoUIE
by Player3
Summary: Sideswipe's reading something. Sunstreaker can't help but read some himself and finds that there are some things better left unread and unknown. A little crude humor. T to keep me safe.


Sunstreaker was wandering the Ark looking for his twin after getting off his shift at the monitors. Oh by Primus, the sheer boredom he had to suffer through nearly gave him a glitch! Or so he swore. Sideswipe's pranks would undoubtedly relieve some of this tension he found burning his CPU. Then again, punching someone usually had the same therapeutic effect. Maybe he should go find a minibot. Yeah, he'd go look for one now.

And Prowl just happened to be walking down the same hallway. _Never mind, I'll just look for Sideswipe._ He'd probably get another shift of monitor duty if he beat up a minibot right now. Sunstreaker looked at the stiff tactician and his attention was suddenly drawn to the broad and very creepy smile that stretched across his faceplate. It sent a shiver up his spinal struts. What in the world could get him to smile like that?

His bright yellow and polished (to a dazzling glare) feet led him to the rec. room. Huh, it was probably the best place to start looking. He wandered in with the pompous and vain strut he always walked with looking down and around at the mechs that filled the room. Spying his brother sitting at one of the tables with a book format-type datapad, he started towards him, until he noticed something very wrong.

Sideswipe was reading.

Reading.

Willingly.

And apparently very happy in doing so.

Sunstreaker froze. And of course his first thought as to what he should say: _Who are you and what have you done to my brother! _But he was a little too shocked for that. Therefore it happened to be (the imposter) Sideswipe that spoke first.

(The Imposter) Sideswipe looked up at his twin and smiled, happy that he could share his book with his brother. "Hia Sunny!" _Maybe it really is Sideswipe…_ "Look at what Prowl gave me!" _Wait wait, what?! _Sunstreaker looked at (The Imposter) Sideswipe with one of those wft looks, then at the book, then at (The Imposter) Sideswipe, then the book, and well, you get the idea.

"_Prowl_ gave that to you?" Maybe this would explain why Prowl was wearing that freaky smile.

"Yes. I don't really believe it either. But this books awesome!" he smiled, "Now take a guess. What's it called?" Sunstreaker simply raised an optic ridge. "Come _on_. Just guess!" Had optics had the ability to roll, he would have taken advantage of that ability just then.

"Fine," he huffed, "Idiot's Book of Idiots?" "No." "How to Cook Water?" "No."_ Strange… He's not dismissing any of these titles as impossible. _"Looking Over Cliffs by Ben Dover?" This got a quick laugh. "No!" Sunstreaker held a look of annoyance. "Ok, then what is it you idiot?" Annoyance turned to a scowl as he spoke. But (The Imposter) Sideswipe paid it no mind.

"It's called the Best Book of Useless Information Ever!" Then in a lower tone he added, "_An official Publication of The Useless Information Society_."

Sunstreaker gave his optics a quick reboot. "What." "Just what I said." "Really." "Yup." "You have got to be fragging kidding me." "Nope." (The Imposter) Sideswipe just smiled like an idiot.

Sunstreaker reached for the datapad only to have (ok so maybe it really was Sideswipe) Sideswipe extended his hand with the datapad out of his reach. "Nuh uh uh." He pushed his twin back with his other hand before pulling the datapad back in front of himself. "Listen to this first." Sideswipe produced the mechanical version of clearing his throat from his vocalizer before continuing.

"Did you know that if a human farted consistently for six years and nine months, enough gas would be produced to create then energy of an atomic bomb? And that if they sneeze to hard, they can fracture a rib? And if they try to suppress a sneeze, they can rupture a blood vessel in their head or neck and die? And that Ancient Egyptian guys believed that eating fried mice would cure a toothache? And-" Sunstreaker pulled the datapad out of Sideswipe's servos and shoved his brother out of his seat. One of those little black squiggly lines that appeared above manga people's heads was almost visible above his own head.

Sunstreaker looked over the words displayed plainly on the pad and skimmed along. That is, until he found out about something that he would have rather not known.

Holding his hand to his mouth and trying to prevent his tank from purging, he shoved the datapad into Sideswipe not really caring whether or not he grabbed it, and speed walked out of the rec. room. Sideswipe looked down at the part that Sunstreaker had been reading.

Right at the top of the innocent looking pad was the title of the particular section of informational mind-boggling snippets. "DOING THE NASTY". Sideswipe immediately started laughing.

Author's note: Hehe… I was just reading through my BBoUIE when I came upon a section that was probably better left unread. XD But I just had to torture one of the transformers with this! Oh, and I'm sorry I didn't make it clear (I wasn't sure how to) but Prowl was smiling because Sideswipe would finally leave him alone as long as he was reading.


End file.
